for_that_summer (for_that_summer) wrote,

  • Mood:

like a bad reality show

Dear Friend,
     How are you? I'm doing pretty well and I'm much happier. My mom is recovering (after only three chemo treatments!). I have dear siblings and friends who support me. And I have a boyfriend who supports me and loves me and that I can count on. A friend but to a whole other level.

And it feels right.

     But are there really others who don't see that?

     There are people who don't believe I'm saved.
     There are people who don't think what I believe in is right.
     There are people who think I'm spiritually imperfect.

     I know that what I believe in and my reasons for believing them are confusing and contradicting. But I understand them. I can't explain them but I understand them. And I'm confident in my relationship with Christ. Yes, I can do more to be a better Christian, but I'm not going to waiver in what I believe, and if I do someday, it will be because I found something out for myself and not because someone is telling me that what I feel is wrong.
     No, religion was not the first thing on my mind when I got into a relationship with him and it wasn't the first thing on his either. But I love him and he loves me. He's helping me grow spiritually and I want to be there every step of the way for him as he does. He's come to respect what I believe in even though he doesn't know and understand everything. Like what holy water is for.

     What is it for anyways?

     And I completely respect what he believes in. We're Christians with different practices. There is no right way or wrong way. Neither one has less faith than the other. The problem is in the future, where one of us bends down on one knee and even in the present we think we'll be okay. Because this feels right.

So I don't want to hear, "I think you should break up with her."

     Because I'm not letting go of him until I hear it from his own mouth and believe that he has fallen out of love with me.

     Thank you for always listening to me. I really needed to tell someone.


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